Monday, November 2, 2015

Figurative Claustrophobia

A picture of the beautiful state of Colorado.  However, for Polly, this
place is what she would like to escape from.
Like Polly in “The Liberation”, I too have felt claustrophobic in a certain situation before.  The experience is not that of having fear of being in a confined place as stated in the literal definition.  The claustrophobia that Polly and I have experienced is figurative, in that in a certain situation, we have figuratively felt claustrophobic.  When in her home, Polly felt claustrophobic, as being in her home was frustrating, feeling as if the walls were closing in on her.  She wanted to leave and be liberated from a place that made her mentally feel uncomfortable. 
Just this picture makes me anxious.

I felt a similar way when in my math class last year.  Honors Pre-Calculus is definitely the hardest class I have ever taken in high school, and simply getting a B- was a huge struggle for me.  The subject was difficult, the amount of homework a night was extensive, and the way the teacher explained how he went about problems was difficult for me to understand.  And with “Work to Rule” in place, my teacher stayed after school very infrequently, therefore making getting extra help difficult.  As a result of all of this, I would get very stressed out about the tests, and I would even feel stressed when just entering the classroom.  Whenever I walked in, just like Polly, I felt as if the walls were caving in on me.  That class stressed me out, everything about it.  And walking into the classroom also became something very uncomfortable to me.  My liberation was difficult, as I literally had to wait until June to leave that class: the end of the year.  Over the course of the year, I struggled getting a B-.  Although it was difficult, I knew that I just had to get through that second period class every day, and get by until the end of the year.  After my last test, the moment of liberation was when my math teacher told me that I had received a 79.5 for the semester, which he was rounding up to an 80.  It was one of the happiest moments in my academic career.  I was relieved that everything about that class was behind me, and that one last push was what got me to where I wanted to be.  The stress was now gone.  The place that made me feel mentally uncomfortable and frustrated was now a thing of the past.
 
Now, I am much happier and less stressed from no longer being in that class.  Although I have difficult classes this year as a senior, even taking Honors Calculus, none of them compared to the stress I felt from just being in my Honors Pre-Calculus class.  I am now liberated, and now am a less anxious and a lot more happy.